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A little humor ...

Translated the book Disorder in the Court, complete with phrases spoken by people inside the halls of justice, word for word.

A: ATTORNEY
T: WITNESS
J: ----


JUDGE ADVOCATE: You are sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just stay still.

A: What is your date of birth?
T: July 18
A: What year?
T: Every year

A: This myasthenia gravis, affects his memory in any way?
T: Yes.
A: And does it affect your memory?
T: Forgetfulness.
A: Forgetfulness? Can you give an example of something you missed?

A: How old is your child, who lives with you?
T: Thirty-eight or thirty-five. I can not remember which of the two ages.
A: How long have you lived?
Y: Forty-five years.

A: That was the first thing your husband said this morning?
T: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
A: And because it made her angry?
T: My name is Terry.

A: Now doctor, is not true that when a person dies in his sleep, not aware of this until the next morning?
T: Actually you passed the entrance exam?

A: The youngest son, the twenty-one years old is he?
T: Uh, is twenty-one.

A: Were you present when your picture taken? (Showing a picture of the witness)
T: Could you repeat the question?

A: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
T: Yes.
A: And what were you doing then?
T: Eh ...

A: She had three children, right?
T: Yes.
A: How many were boys?
T: None.
A: There was a girl?

A: Because your first marriage terminated?
T: By death.
A: And by whose death was it terminated?

A: Can you describe the individual?
T: He was of medium height and had a beard.
A: He was a man or woman?

A: Doctor, how many of your autopsies were performed on dead people?
T: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.

A: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school was it?
T: Oral.

A: Remember what time you examined the body?
T: The autopsy started around 20:30.
A: And Mr. Denton was dead at this time?
T: No, I was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy on him!

A: This qualified to give a urine sample?
T: Eh?

A: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, I check the pulse?
T: No.
A: Check your blood pressure?
T: No.
A: It is fixed if you breathe?
T: No.
A: Then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
T: No.
A: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
T: Because his brain was in a jar, resting on my desk.
A: But the patient could have been alive, nevertheless?
T: Yes, it is possible that he was still alive and practicing law!

Source:
Mofomon's Blog via StumbleUpon
book Disorder in the American Courts (Disorder in American courts)